


Manly Charms

by basaltgrrl



Category: Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: F/M, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 09:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17098049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basaltgrrl/pseuds/basaltgrrl
Summary: This was my attempt at a weirdest pairing fic.





	Manly Charms

Leo Pilgrim knew what kind of figure he cut, leaning against the bar next to slender Vince and lanky Geoff. He knew himself well enough, knew that his athletic days were long behind him, and his nights of pulling birds with the swagger of authority. And he was OK with that, most days. Happy with his long and stolid marriage, and with the benign pleasure of watching the office romances and placing bets on who was up to what with whom.

So when Joni Newton came slinking over with her female strut he honestly didn’t expect her to belly up next to him. Yet there she was, resting her breasts carelessly on the edge of the bar, calling brazenly to the barman for a campari and soda and casting him a smouldering glance. 

He wondered at first what he had done to earn her ire.

“So, Copper,” she purred with the hint of a smile, “enjoying your time at the Warren?”

“Well enough,” he grunted, taking an extended drag at his cigarette. It spared him from speaking, and it seemed wisest to let her set the parameters of their conversation.

“You’ve been here every Saturday night for the last month,” she mused. “It must be to your liking. And yet I’ve never seen you on the dance floor.”

“Do I look like I belong on the dance floor?” He waved a hand at his own physique.

She smiled. “You don’t have to pass a test. I’ve seen all types out there, once they’ve had a few. S’fun. Should try it.”

He blinked, then fumbled beside him for his pint and took a deep, fortifying draught. It gave him thinking time, to the extent he was capable at the moment. She was encouraging him to dance?

“Young lady,” he rumbled, “it’s been far too long since I gave that a go.”

“All the more reason to break your streak. C’mon. Dance with me.” She tossed back the rest of her drink and stood away from the bar, giving him a daring look. 

God. If she only knew—no, most certainly she did know how sexy she was. How much power that gave her. He cast a glance to his left and then to his right, not sure why this was all happening or what he was supposed to do with it. Vince was deep in conversation with Geoff. Gene was upstairs, somewhere. Dance with her, then. What harm was there in that?

“All right.” 

She grabbed one of his hands and dragged him in her wake, into the throbbing mass of dancers. Once she had him fully immersed in the sea of bodies she twirled to face him, all undulations and teasing smile, and sashayed right up against his belly.

“I love this song!” she yipped. He didn’t know the song, wasn’t sure if he had heard it on previous visits. Popular music wasn’t really his thing. Neither was dancing, except perhaps the waltz, at weddings—but here he was, managing an awkward sway.

Joni took a hand in each of hers and guided him into a weird sort of synchronized wave. She was wriggling up and down against his belly, a glint in her eyes as she worked her magic, and he was torn between wanting to be anywhere else at all and wanting this moment to last a lifetime. Oh, she was a sexy thing.

“Do you trust Stephen Warren?” she asked during the brief pause between songs.

He raised an eyebrow, not sure if he had heard her correctly. “Do you?”

“Doesn’t matter if I do, now, does it?” she countered. “He owns me. But you—you don’t have to be here. Don’t you have a nice wife at home?”

“What does trust have to do with it?” he yelled over the next song, attempting a little back-and-forth dance step.

“Got everything to do with it!” she countered, twisting around to wriggle her arse firmly against the zip of his trousers. He had three—no four immediate and conflicting impulses. To thrust hard and delightfully against her firm derriere. To run for the front door and never come back. To take her by the hand and lead her to a chair, there to explain why it was a bad idea to arouse random men.

He went with the fourth.

He turned and presented his own rear, rotated it firmly against hers, and waved with a grin to Vince and Geoff, staring wide-eyed from the bar.

“I think our dance is over,” he announced when their moves brought them face to face again. “The pleasure was mine.”

She actually looked disappointed, or pouty. “Just remember what I said,” she told him with a lingering gaze.

“I will,” he promised, although he wasn’t sure what significance he had, and he certainly wasn’t going to go home to the missus and consult with her about Joni’s meeting. No, it was better for his marriage if no one ever knew this dance had taken place.

As he resumed his spot at the bar he got a hand on his pint and a cigarette from his pocket and sighed, “Gentlemen, she could not resist my manly charms. Let’s leave it at that.”


End file.
